


a whisper that's just loud enough to make out

by Fluoradine



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Crushes, First Kiss, Genyatta Week, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Movie Night, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, and his crippling anxiety, guest starring genji's various fucky life troubles, why is that the only thing i can write?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 16:11:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11316966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluoradine/pseuds/Fluoradine
Summary: Zenyatta has been over at his house for two hours, and Genji is still nervous about being so close to him. He's had a crush on him for longer than he can remember, but knows he can never tell him how he feels. Maybe the old romantic movie they're watching can help a few things come to the surface.





	a whisper that's just loud enough to make out

**Author's Note:**

> me throwing fics out at lightning speed this month: you are safe now my children  
> my readers: we owe you our lives
> 
> felt guilty about not writing anything for genyatta week. i don't really know how this got to be 2k. i think it was another idea i've had since december that i never got around to writing. it's so late please just take it i'll edit in the morning
> 
> and yes the title is the front bottoms, for some reason i associate that song with genyatta? at least it's not a shitty song w/e

The crinkly audio of the old black-and-white movie fades in and out of Genji’s ears. He watches the frames go by, full of women in nice dresses and men in fancy suits, but he doesn’t care about them. He can barely pay attention to anything over his own thoughts, which are making him feel like static. If he were watching it alone, he would’ve turned it off by now and done something to distract himself, but that isn't exactly an option. 

The reason why he's so anxious is the boy sitting beneath him, who's the reason why he's sitting in the basement in silence, and waiting for this night to end. Zenyatta’s been in his house for two hours, and hasn’t said much of anything to him other than how nice it is to see him, and how much he appreciates someone who doesn’t think old movies are boring. Zen is currently curled up on the floor beneath Genji lying across the couch, who’s gaze is flickering between him and the grey screen. 

Genji doesn’t remember when he first got a crush on Zen, but it was long enough ago to make him impatient for results. He knows he likes him more than he's ever liked anyone before, and it makes him more nervous than he’s ever been with a crush before. Genji used to be sure he could get any girl or boy that he wanted without tripping over his feelings, but then he saw Zen, and everything changed. It was like he'd flipped a switch in him the first time they saw each other, and Genji couldn't figure out how to turn it off. 

He's completely conflicted over what to do. He doesn't know when the right time to confess his feelings is, and he has other reasons to not get Zen further involved in his life. So he settles for freezing in place, not acting too interested or disinterested in him to make Zen think everything is the same as it's always been. He's been walking this thin line for months, now, and he's starting to lose his balance. 

Despite his anxiety, he’s always wanted to hang out with Zen - but the both of them had been too busy with school for the past few months to even take a single second off. But now it’s summer, and he has no excuses anymore. Genji spent the entire day on a nervous high after Zen asked him if they could watch a movie together tonight, and he still hasn’t come down from it. He doesn’t know what to expect from a simple chill time, but he knows that if he keeps quiet and stays completely spaced out, they won't have another one any time soon.

As Genji keeps wondering if his head is too close to Zen, or if his hand is hanging too close to his face, the movie keeps playing. The lead man has his love interest in his arms, and is saying something Genji can barely hear. Zen is as quiet as he’s been for the whole night, his head slowly bobbing up and down as he breathes. Genji wants to stare at him like he’s the real focus of the night, but he doesn’t want to catch his attention, lest their eyes catch onto each other accidentally. 

Onscreen, the woman shouts something, and it’s only then when Genji starts to actually pay attention. The two leads are in an office, barely lit and terribly captured on film, standing so close Genji could swear they have the same silhouette. 

“You know that isn’t what I want. If you’d even been paying attention to me this entire time, you would’ve realized what kind of person I am!” she complains, but the man doesn’t sigh in response. He takes her hand, and relaxes his shoulders. He becomes a whole inch smaller in an instant.

“Tell me what you do want, then,” he says to her. “I’ll listen to every word, I promise. All I want is to make you happy, dear, you know that-”

“But how can I tell? How can I tell when you won’t tell me a thing about how you feel about me?” she cries out again, and the man waits before answering her.

“What do you want me to tell you?” he asks, and it’s not in exaggeration like the rest of his lines have been so far. It’s genuine, like he actually wants this girl’s love and trust as a partner, not just as a fellow actor. The music is swelling as they look at each other, and Genji can tell that this is supposed to be the climax of the film. 

Genji waits for her response, but it never comes. The picture freezes, and flickers off into darkness.

“Oh,” Zenyatta hums in surprise. “It must’ve broken.”

“That sucks.” Genji says quietly, not lifting his head from the couch as Zen gets up to check the screen.

He taps it once, and hums again. “I’ll try to get it back on. It might take a while, however.”

“That’s okay,” Genji says. “I was gonna go to the kitchen, actually. Did you want anything, or…?”

“Tea would be nice, actually.” Zen says with a small smile, and it makes Genji blush bright red in the darkness. He unsticks himself from the couch quickly, and shuffles off to the kitchen, still thinking of the lovers’ conversation from the movie that ended so abruptly.

There isn’t much tea in the kitchen, but Genji manages to rustle out a bag of something herbal for Zen. He grabs a mug, not taking a second one for himself. He fills up the kettle, and waits for it to boil while his mind races. 

The sudden quiet of the kitchen is surprisingly calming. As Genji leans against the counter, he tries to get a clear grip on what he’s thinking about. The romantic scene had caught his attention, and he’s not sure if Zen noticed. He didn’t act any different for sure, but Zen’s never been one to wear his emotions on his sleeve. 

The love interest’s conversation plays out again in Genji’s head. He thinks about the way the woman was acting, and the genuine reassurance of the man’s voice in the last line he’d heard. 

“What do I want?” Genji asks himself out loud, and although it’s simple, he can’t answer it. He wants so much that he knows he’ll never get. He’s too damn nervous to confess, and he knows at this rate that he’ll never get to tell Zen how he feels. His expectations are unrealistic, and no matter how bad it feels, he can’t confess. Zenyatta is his friend, first and foremost, and will always be just that.

But now, as the water boils, he thinks of all the time they spent together as friends before tonight. They’d studied together late into the night, after Genji had spent the week before the test fighting with his family and staying up all night doing nothing but wondering how his dorm got so messy. Zen had dragged Genji outside during winter break when he’d planned to waste away in his room for the next two weeks. And they’d gone to some friend’s parties together, never getting further than small conversations and awful smalltalk.

All this anxiety is because he wants to confess, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to. They’ve been friends for so long that he’s afraid he’ll ruin if it he asks Zenyatta to be his boyfriend. And Genji’s own life is already so trashed that he doesn’t want Zen to get near all the trouble he gets caught up in. It’s like he has to pull his own hand back from reaching out, knowing that it’s better to not have him, but at the same time wanting him so bad it hurts.

“It’s obvious,” he whispers out loud. “I want you. That’s all I want.”

The kettle beeps, and Genji leans over to turn it off. As he’s pouring the water into Zen’s mug, he hears footsteps come up behind him.

“Is everything alright?” Zenyatta asks, making Genji spill the hot water onto his foot. He curses, and Zen immediately takes a step back. He looks so small in the warm clothes he’s wearing, a sweater that’s too big for his arms and sweatpants that are sagging on his hips. Genji can’t even believe that someone can look that cute and hot at the same time. 

“Everything’s good, everything’s great,” he says quickly, setting the kettle back down. “Why, is something wrong with you?”

Zen shakes his head. “No, everything’s alright. I just came to tell you that the TV is fixed.”

Genji nods. “Oh. That’s great. I was almost done with your tea, if you still want it…”

“Of course.” Zen says, and picks up the kettle himself to pour the water. Genji stands there and watches him, trying to look elsewhere but ultimately failing. He hopes that Zen doesn’t notice.

Instead of taking his tea and heading back down to the basement, Zenyatta sits down at the small table in Genji’s kitchen, swirling the teabag around in the mug. Genji isn’t sure if he should join him or not. He doesn’t move from his place against the counter, standing awkwardly as Zen yawns.

“I wanted to thank you again, Genji,” Zen says. “This has been a nice time.”

“Oh, no problem. You can come over whenever you want.” Genji silently curses himself for that last sentence, sure that it gives away too much.

But Zen just nods. “We haven’t gotten much time to hang out together before.” he notes.

“Yeah, I know. I suppose things just work out that way.”

“Well, we both have our own things to take care of before anything else,” Zen says. “Life gets in the way. But I’m glad we got this time together. I would gladly do it again any time.”

“No…no problem,” Genji says, feeling his cheeks warm up a little. “I wouldn’t mind that, either.” He knows that more time spent awkwardly with Zen will just make his situation worse, and only make Genji fall harder for him. 

They fall silent for a while as Zenyatta drinks his tea. Eventually, Genji’s legs get tired of standing, and he sits down with Zen, his hands tapping against each other beneath the tabletop. It doesn’t seem like either of them really care about the movie anymore. 

“I heard you talking to yourself.” Zenyatta breaks the silence with, and Genji stops tapping and freezes. 

“You…heard me what?” he asks, but he already knows what Zen heard.

“Just before, when I came in. You said something.” Zen says, and he’s stopped taking sips of tea now. It feels like the room has become a million times more tense in a split second, and Genji knows that he’s trapped under its weight.

“What did you hear me say?” he asks, trying to stall Zen from drawing a conclusion from what’d he’d heard him say.

“Something about wanting someone. I thought you were just quoting the movie at first, but I don’t know why you would,” Zen says. “Maybe you were, I’m not sure. But I don’t know what you meant.”

“Um…” Genji wants to say something in response, but he doesn’t know what. Should he give up the charade and confess now, or should he try to keep denying how he feels? He knows what he wants to do, and he knows that it would make everything easier. They could just go back downstairs and finish the movie like they were supposed to. 

But he knows what he has to do. He'll only make things worse if he doesn't. This has gone on for too long, and he has to get it out before Zen sees him in a completely different way that can never be reversed. 

“Before you say anything, at least let me explain,” Genji says with a shaky breath. “I don’t want to make you upset. I know you’ll probably leave after I tell you this, but I just want to. Because honestly, it’s been killing me. I just don’t know how to say it.”

Zen stares at him quietly as Genji tries to stare back. He knows he can’t avoid it now. He tries to confess in the least awkward way possible. “I know this was a long time ago, but do you remember when we were in Hana’s party in December? And we didn’t really know anyone else there but her, but she’d already left?” he asks Zen, who nods a small nod. 

“We…um, we walked back together. Just talking. I was pretty fucked up at the time, and I told you something about my brother that I’d never told anyone else before. I thought you were going to just pat me on the back and say I should go to bed, but you listened to me, and you actually tried to help me out.”

“I remember that. It’s a little vague, but still, it’s there.” Zen says, and Genji can feel his heart pounding.

“I’m just reminding you because I think that was when I realized it.”

“Realized what?”

“That I like you.”

The silence hits like a freight train. Genji doesn’t say anything else. He feels a little lighter now that he’s gotten the confession off of his chest, but that’s nothing compared to the fear it was replaced with. 

“Oh,” is all Zen can say in response. “Oh, Genji.”

“I know you don’t like me back, but that’s okay,” Genji says. “The scene from the movie just kinda…reminded me of it. I didn’t really know when to tell you. I wasn’t really planning on ever telling you. But I guess it just happens like that sometimes.”

Zenyatta doesn’t say anything, and Genji knows that the night is over. He doesn’t know where he can run to and hide from this. All he can do is sit and wait for Zen to slowly get up and leave, probably thanking him for the movie and then never seeing him again. He can still feel his heart pounding like it’s going to burst from its chest.

“I suppose it does,” Zen says. “I don’t…oh, I don’t really know what to say.”

“That’s okay.” Genji says, but Zen shakes his head. 

“No, I’m not upset with you, Genji,” he says in assurance. “Not at all. Now I’m the one at a loss for words.”

“You don’t have to say anything else, Zen.”

Zen shakes his head again. “It isn’t that. I… I did want to tell you, but I didn’t know when would be a good time to. I like you, too.”

Genji stops. “You do?”

Zen nods. “I do.”

They both go quiet again, and Genji doesn’t really know what to do. He never really accounted for Zen liking him back. It seems unreal, like he’s imagined this whole situation and is going to wake up on the couch in the basement in a few seconds.

But he never does. They stay seated at the table for a few minutes, not really knowing what to say. It’s Zenyatta that breaks the silence again. “Do you want to go back downstairs?” he asks.

Genji nods. “Sure.” 

He stands from the table slowly, waiting for Zen to follow him with his mug in hand. But Zen doesn’t take the mug when he stands. Instead, he gets up, and reaches for Genji’s hand. Without thinking, Genji lets him take it, and they don’t move a step further.

“You really do like me back?” Genji asks, and Zenyatta nods with a more genuine smile than Genji’s ever seen him have. 

“Of course,” he says. “How can I not?”

Genji can’t help but smile back. He’s been staring at him for longer than he ever has, and this time he doesn’t feel ashamed or too forward. Somehow, it feels just right, like everything has clicked into place.

“Does that mean you want to kiss me, too?” Genji asks.

“Only if you do, too.” Zen says.

“Then that’s exactly what I want.” Genji says, and before he knows it they are, and he feels so light he could fly. His heart is still pounding, but it’s as if Zen being this close to him has calmed all of his nerves at once. His kiss is practically healing, and it’s everything Genji knew he needed.

They stay in the kitchen, kissing until they lose track of the time they’ve been kissing for, getting everything that’s been weighing them down out of the way. It feels so perfectly timed, so right and long-awaited that Genji never wants to stop. They never do finish the movie downstairs, and Genji never gets to know how the rest of the scene went. But he doesn’t doubt that Zenyatta will be back soon to finish it with him.


End file.
